I've noticed in my son a strong development of conscience over the last two years. I recognize in him many feelings of anguish that I felt as a kid -- and now as an adult -- when I recognized I did wrong and hurt another, especially in moments in which I lacked emotional regulation. The disappointment in myself, the feeling that I had let my loved ones down, or fear of losing their' trust and esteem, all brought me low to the point of tears. Tears that resulted not from anger or sadness, but from self recrimination and guilt.
#145: "I have done some things, thought many thoughts..."
Updated: Dec 7, 2022