#085: "I've always struggled with what I'm supposed to be..."

Updated: Oct 26, 2021

Boy and rabbit change others accept yourself accept others accept myself beautiful illustration Chinese painting Oxherd Boy

Collaboration with psychotherapist and meditation teacher Koret Munguldar, who is based in Istanbul, Turkey.⁠ Here are some of her thoughts regarding personal growth and acceptance of oneself and others:

"Part of healing is accepting the different parts within ourselves, and embracing the things we consider weaknesses as part of our human condition.⁠

Because other people are mirrors to ourselves, and how we experience them shows what needs attention within us, as our acceptance of who we are grows, we become more comfortable with other people being as they are as well.⁠

Maybe you really wish to change an aspect of your partner, your parent, or your child. You just wish they were different, and you also feel strongly that if they do they change, it will be better for them, too.⁠

Well, not only can we not change others, but our wish to change them reflects that part of us that can’t tolerate a certain aspect of the other person. It is very likely that the thing that you wish to change in someone else has significance in your life history, or has created a wound, deeply embedded in your subconscious and your body.⁠

So when the other acts in a way that you can’t tolerate, you get triggered and feel a certain way that you don’t like. All of this happens on a subconscious level, and consciously, you express this wish to change or help the other person and relieve your own pain and discomfort.⁠

One way we heal is to closely examine what we can’t accept in the others, especially those who are close to us. By processing and embodying our feelings, we can gradually feel more compassionate towards ourselves and others."⁠


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